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The milking doe’s code

6K views 54 replies 26 participants last post by  MadHouse 
#1 ·
I came up with this this morning while milking.
This seems to be my doe's code of conduct. Yours may have similar or totally different rules. You are welcome to add!

1. Go crazy at the gate, always give the impression of urgency, milking must happen NOW!
2. The general idea is, you want as much time with the special food as possible.
3. Dive into the bowl so farmer knows you never get enough.
4. Let out moans of pleasure (at the food), but farmer might think you are in pain. This will lead to concerned and careful examination of udder, which adds eating time.
5. Make sure you let them know which foods are appropriate for this time. Don’t accept mundane food that you can have anytime. Milk the system.
6. Stomp when you don’t like what they do.
7. If there is an actual milking bucket under you, give it a good kick. Or step into it.
8. The appropriate response to “Good girl!” is to stomp.
9. New staff must earn their right to milk. Make sure you are extra vigilant on the rules.
10. When they think it’s done and you are supposed to go back, take side trips and use the chance to explore places. If need be, go back to the milking parlour.
11. Farmers need to work harder to earn your milk.
12. Have a good laugh.
 
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#41 ·
#32(?) Occasionally freak out and run away when milker goes to let you into the milk room. Pretend milker is a coyote, or better yet, a cougar. Scream when milker gets too close, bolt into pasture and randomly crash into other goats. Continue this behavior until milker offers you animal crackers then rush to milker. Refuse to get on stand with suitable animal cracker bribe for the entire next week.

Do this at least once a month to keep milker on her toes.

I have a single doe that does every single thing listed here plus some. Not every day but often enough that she'll be on the sale list as soon as she gives me a doeling (she is absolutely stunning). In other words, if I get a bunch of doe kids this spring and I'm selling a quality doe with high LA scores with a sweet face, don't be tempted! [emoji23]
 
#42 ·
That is soo funny! But of course, it is not funny that she does that all the time.
My perfect little May acted up when she was in heat the other day. The funny thing is, when I tied her up with her harness on, she just stood there, refusing to eat, but not pulling away, just standing there. Hormonal challenges! :rolleyes:
 
#47 ·
You guys must be talking about those ND, mini-goats, Alpine, half breed/boar crosses or something like that. Shoot my Nubians never never act like that !! And if you will buy that line I have ocean front property for sale for you in Dallas. Those are so true but so funny except when it is happening to you.
 
#55 ·
Well, mine just holds each leg up while I wash that side and puts it down gently. As long as I stick to the routine she is the perfect milking goat. But if I dare touch her tail or do any other “funny business”... she quits!!!
 
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