A child's view on milking

Discussion in 'Goat Frenzy' started by keren, May 16, 2009.

  1. keren

    keren owned by goats

    Oct 26, 2008
    So tonight I had to look after my three nephews as my brother (their dad) was taken into the hospital.

    Fed them dinner and they were playing games on the computer.

    Me: Boys, I'm just going outside down to the kidding yard, to milk the goat, I'll be back inside in 10 minutes

    Harley: Can I come?
    Jaden: Can I watch?
    Seth: Can I try?

    So off we toddle to the kidding yard, me wearing a torch on my head, the boys following along (it was pitch dark), the poddy lambs kept racing around our legs, we got some food (Can I carry it?), went to the kidding yard ...

    Me: Uh oh
    Boys: What?
    Me: (sees hundreds of glinting green goat eyes in the torch light) the other goats broke into the kidding yard. You wait here and protect the food, hold the milk jug, while I chase them out
    Me: (running round like a maniac, hissing at them)
    Goats: Hey mum! Got any food for us? Hey, you do have food! Gimme! Gimme! Hey why you chasing us? You wanna play? Cool, its play time, lets run and dance and kick up our heels! Huh? Go out the gate? What gate? Huh? Its too dark, I dont see any gate! Ooooh, that gate. Oh, okay, spoil all the fun why dont you.
    Sweet Pea angora goat: oh boy, I hope she doesnt see me hiding in this shed ...
    Boys: Hey you missed a goat!
    Sweet Pea: Busted!
    Me: Out you go, Pea Brain

    Me: (sigh of relief) Okay boys, you can come in now, bring the food and milk jug
    Now one large dairy goat, three boys and myself all squeeze into one of my kidding stalls which doubles as a milking area (I dont use a milk stand)
    Anna: Oh good you've got my food. Munch munch munch
    Me: okay boys, this is how you do it. You have to trap the milk in the teat with your top fingers, and use the rest of the fingers to squeeze it down like that. See what happens if you dont trap it in the teat? It all zooms back up again. Move the jug out of the way for a minute Jaden
    Jaden: Why?
    Me: cos you have to put the first bit on the ground, thats the dirty bit, and you dont want it in the jug cos we dont want to drink it
    Seth: oh my god, you actually drink that
    Me: Yeah
    Seth: you mean you drink that milk just like that, like, without doing anything to it? Dont you have to send it to the shop first and they do stuff to it and then you get it back and you can drink it
    Me: (trying not to giggle) no, you just drink it fresh
    Seth: but what if there's hairs in it
    Me: well, I strain it first. Now, you want to have a go first seth?
    Seth: yeah, um ...
    Me: grab her teat, and close off the top and squirt the milk out
    Seth: (squeals a little when he first touches the teat) ah, okay, wow thats so weird, um (milk slips back up into the udder), hang on, okays (another squeal when milk actually comes out), ew, thats kinda gross
    Harley: but its kinda cool too
    Seth quite happily milking away, one handed, on one side of the udder
    Me: Okay, time for Harleys turn
    Harley: hey, this is cool. What happens if she kicks the jug?
    Me: she never kicks the jug, she's a well behaved goat
    Harley: But what happens if she does?
    Me: well the milk gets spilled but she never does that
    Harley: okay
    Anna: Munch munch munch (what on earth are they doing back there?)
    Jaden: okay Harl, can I have a turn now
    Harley: yep
    Jaden: (grabs the teat and starts milking like a pro, seriously you would swear he'd done it a hundred times) cool
    Me: (joking) hey, look at you go! Have you done this before?
    Jaden: nope, I just saw it on tv
    Me: okay, that side's empty, seth do you want to start on the other side
    Jaden: wait, dont they both empty
    Me: no, it has two different sides
    Seth: what, like its two seperate stomachs
    Me: well its two separate containers of milk, yeah, but not stomachs
    Harley: Aunty Keren, this little baby goat is trying to get in here
    Me: thats alright he wont get it
    Seth: (continues milking) Harl do you want to go now my arm is getting sore
    Harley: yep (starts milking)
    Anna: munch munch munch (happy goat)
    Seth: Aunty Keren, this little baby goat is trying to get in here
    Me: dont worry, he cant get in
    Jaden: Aunty Keren, this little baby goat is getting in here. No seriously. I think you should look
    Me: (freaking out to see Pride climb straight up the mesh gate, jump into Seth's lap and head straight for Anna's feed) oh crap
    Harley: hey, give the torch back here I cant see what I'm doing
    Me: Oh sorry, hey! (as milk squirts in my face)
    Harley: sorry, you blinded me with the light
    Jaden: at least you could have had a taste test
    Seth: aunty keren, I cant get this baby goat to leave
    Me: dont worry, just let him
    Seth: but he's eating her food!
    Me: thats okay
    Anna: its NOT okay - get lost Pride (headbutt)
    Seth: she's being really mean to him!
    Me: thats okay, she'll tell him who is boss. I think we'd better give Jaden a turn now to finish her off
    Harley: (stops milking) yeah my hands are sore
    Jaden: okay (grabs teat)
    This is where all hell breaks loose
    Anna: whoah! watcha grabbin back there?! I thought we were finished milking!
    Me: (head pressing into her side to stop the dancing, at the same time trying to align the jug under the milk being squirted around) Anna, stop it (growly voice)
    Anna: no, you stop it!
    Me: Anna, I'm serious
    Anna: I'm serious too (WHACK)
    Jaden: What happened?
    Me: (pmsl) she kicked the jug and I didnt move it in time and it all landed in Harley's lap!
    Harley: ew ....
    Seth: (crying) I tried to get the baby goat to leave and he horned me in the nose
    Me: oh crikey, quick boys, look around on the ground for Seth's nose, we dont want to lose it in the hay!
    Seth: (giggles) nah, its okay, its still attached, just hurt
    Me: okay, I think I'd better finish off milking her, and lets go inside
    Harley: yeah, mum and dad will be back soon
    Jaden: and we can tell them we learned how to milk a goat even before they did
    Me: thanks for the milk Anna
    Anna: (grudgingly) thanks for the food I guess ... next time leave the two legged kids inside

    (Back inside)
    Me: we only got 200mls after we spilled the milk! Ah well

    Me: Boys, I just have to go outside and give Charlotte her injection, I'll be back inside in a couple minutes

    Boys: Can we watch? Can we help?
  2. StaceyRosado

    StaceyRosado Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Oct 4, 2007
    Great story -- :clap:

  3. Di

    Di Crazy Goat Lady

    Jan 29, 2008
    central PA
    LOL :ROFL:
  4. RowdyKidz

    RowdyKidz Senior Member

    Apr 2, 2009
    NW Ohio
  5. Amy Goatress

    Amy Goatress New Member

    Oct 1, 2008
    I enjoyed reading this, LOL!
  6. toth boer goats

    toth boer goats Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Jul 20, 2008
    Corning California
  7. Shantarskiye

    Shantarskiye Member

    Apr 15, 2009
    :ROFL: That is really funny!! :ROFL:
  8. AlaskaBoers

    AlaskaBoers New Member

    May 6, 2008
    Wasilla Alaska
  9. grandmajo

    grandmajo Member

    Oct 14, 2008
    Pioneer, Ohio
    Oh keren, thanks so much for the great story and laugh!
  10. Cinder

    Cinder New Member

    Mar 2, 2008
    That's great... gotta love kids! :ROFL:
  11. Epona142

    Epona142 The farm that Hope began

    May 25, 2008
    Madisonville, TX
    Loved it!! :thumbup:
  12. goathappy

    goathappy New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
  13. FourSnyders

    FourSnyders New Member

    Mar 28, 2009
    :slapfloor: That was great! Anything seeing/doing something for the first time is often hilarious! Thanks for sharing!
  14. liz

    liz Well-Known Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Shelocta PA
    Thank you so much Keren! Kids are wonderful aren't they :love:
    Reminds me of when my niece and nephew milked Boots for the first time.
  15. Haviris

    Haviris Member

    Oct 7, 2007
    How funny! One of my nephews was watching me milk one day, and had stayed pretty quiet the whole time, then when I was finished, he said "now how are you going to get it back in?" (meaning the milk back in the udder).
  16. Amos

    Amos New Member

    Oct 2, 2008
    Haha! Thats awesome Keren! Thanks for sharing!
  17. rebelshope

    rebelshope New Member

    Sep 20, 2008
    You, seriously, have the best stories!! lol :slapfloor: And what a good Aunt!!
  18. Dreamchaser

    Dreamchaser New Member

    Oct 29, 2008
    Camp Verde, AZ
    Tha's great! I laughed the whole way through. I knew she was going to kick the pail.
  19. alyssa_romine

    alyssa_romine Breaking Dawn Ranch

    Oct 4, 2007
    im a little late posting on this thread but that was a funny story!