Don't ever...................

Discussion in 'The Chatter Box' started by enjoytheride, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. enjoytheride

    enjoytheride New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Humboldt Co Ca
    I just read the funniest thread on another forum that I have ever read. It started out with a lady saying don't ever put the eggs you picked up from the chickens in the pocket of your coat, forget about it then lend the coat to your daughter. The thread just got funnier and funnier, so I thought I might see if the people here could match it.

    To start if off (I hope)-
    Don't ever think that one more serious try with your two wheel drive truck will do the trick after you have just tried to get up that muddy hill for the last 15 minutes and have only slid backwards to within one foot of the fenceline trying to get a running start.
  2. enjoytheride

    enjoytheride New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Humboldt Co Ca
    Don't ever think that if one goat has squeezed through the unlocked gate, that the other is going to stay in the pen while you round up the escapee if you don't lock the gate first.

    Don't ever think that it was just a fluke that you hung up the axel on your tractor going over a stump- you might run out of neigbors willing to come to pull you out.

  3. sungoats

    sungoats New Member

    Oct 6, 2007
    Jackson NJ
    Don't ever think that your goat will respond to "NO, BAD DOG!" while you are experiencing a moment of reactionary panic.

    (I'm assuming that these are all true scenarios. :oops: )
  4. kelebek

    kelebek New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    South Texas
    Don't ever be the female in the family who has the 4 wheel drive vehicle and have your husband call you to tow him up the hill to the house while you laugh hysterically the whole time - for some reason men just do not find as much humor in it!
  5. Sara

    Sara New Member

    Oct 4, 2007
    Ellensburg, WA
    Don't ever give your boyfriend cookys to feed to the goats, and actually expect him to give them the cookys. He won't, all he will do is tease them. However he goats will always jump on him and put hoofprints on his new clothes.
  6. enjoytheride

    enjoytheride New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Humboldt Co Ca
    kelebek-just give him 10 years- he might find it funny by then.
    And yes these are real (hopefully never to be repeated) things- oh wait, they are funnier if you have repeated them.

    Don't ever reach for the sesame oil when cooking sesame chicken and grab the hot oil by mistake- your friends and family will not see the humor in it- especially since they are still hungry and therefore grumpy anyway.
  7. FarmGirl18

    FarmGirl18 New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Don't ever try to drive a truck and trailer over a ridge that's too steep. It just might get stuck halfway. You usually can't get it dug out with a shovel.

    Alway's expect that the cows will get out only when all the guys are gone. :lol:
  8. Muddy Creek Farm

    Muddy Creek Farm New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Keokuk, Iowa
    Don't ever start a mud-war 10 minutes before you need to go be in a school awards assembly. Unless you are a quick change artist. :roll:
  9. nancy d

    nancy d Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    near Seattle
    :lol: hence the name Muddy Creek Farm?

    Don' assume your husband knows that the living Christmas tree container is not biodegradable after he has planted it!!
  10. Muddy Creek Farm

    Muddy Creek Farm New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Keokuk, Iowa
    Haha yep ;) We lived on a street named "Muddy Creek" he he tht is where the farm name came from.
  11. cornishwlr

    cornishwlr New Member

    Oct 18, 2007
    Don't drive a small truck down the side of a steep narrow ditch. It can not be backed out. It will have to be driven out while being push by a few neighbor that are trying not to laugh to hard at you daughter that thought that she could drive down the side of this ditch.
  12. morganslil1

    morganslil1 New Member

    Nov 12, 2007
    north carolina
    Do not second guess yourself I couldn't remember if I had unplugged the electric fence I yelled for my son to make sure it was off I straddled the wire to go over it as he proceeded to cut it on.... :shock:
  13. enjoytheride

    enjoytheride New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Humboldt Co Ca
    morganslil1-lol- been there.

    Don't ever try to open the metal gate to get to the hot wire that the buck has pulled loose so that it is touching the woven fence that is touching the gate. Believe me that is a one time mistake only.
  14. mystic's_mom

    mystic's_mom New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Northern, MN
    Don't ever put your show whites on before you are about to enter the ring...they won't stay clean, I promise you!!!! :lol:
  15. prairiewolf

    prairiewolf New Member

    Oct 17, 2007
    southeast Kansas
    :lol: what a great idea for a thread, too funny!

    Don't ever think you can catch two wild goats at the same time, one in each hand. Because they WILL take off running at the same time in different directions, pulling you off of your feet and face first into the dirt. (Ask me how I know? :roll: :lol: ).
  16. mystic's_mom

    mystic's_mom New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Northern, MN
    Hahahahaha...I have had the two wild goat thing happen; only when ever I try to do this, they seem to cross in front of me, then go in their own you've got crossed arms, and frenzied goats still trying to run away, and no way to really 'fix' the situation except to let one go and catch it later!!! Lol!!!!
  17. enjoytheride

    enjoytheride New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Humboldt Co Ca
    Don't ever, ever, ever tell that city visiting relative what that black, smushed oval thing on the kitchen floor is. Just pick up the goatie berry that you accidently tracked in (you never know how since you take your barn boots off in the garage) very quietly, without interrupting the conversation flow and put it in the trash.
    Of course if you're really country, you be regretting that it is being wasted in the trash instead of the compost but it will save many months, occasionally years of irritating remarks.
  18. ozarksvalley

    ozarksvalley New Member

    Nov 22, 2007
    Don't ever lead to onery goats at the same time by yourself. They'll go in opposite directions!

    Don't ever use lamp oil to start a fire in the wood stove... even if you can't start a fire to save your life. your eyebrows will get singed off!

    Don't ever sit in wet grass and then go through the house during a family reunion.

    Don't ever lose concentration while writing a phone number down while a person is giving it to you in a room FULL of people. Chances are, he will KEEP giving you numbers until you realize something's up and the whole room explodes with laughter. (i am so gullible. *sigh*)

    Don't ever go in a strange store looking for flea & tick medicine without reciting 'flea & tick.' When you ask the clerk about it, you'll probably not say "tea and flick" and vice versa, until your tounge is officially stuck and the clerk is officially amused.
  19. LiddleGoteGurl

    LiddleGoteGurl New Member

    Nov 29, 2007
    Don't ever have a World War III with your friends in your parent's garden with tomatoes......
  20. goathappy

    goathappy New Member

    Oct 5, 2007
    Don't ever drive through a puddle on a rainy day, sometimes that puddle ain't as shallow as it looks :shock: :lol: