Hock: Financial condition of all horse owners. Stall: What your rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a big horse show . A Bit: What you have left in your pocket after you've been to your favorite tack shop. Fence: Decorative structure built to provide your horse with something to chew on. Horse Auction: What you think of having after your horse bucks you off. Pinto: Green coat pattern found on freshly washed light colored horses left unattended for 2 minutes. Well Mannered: Hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week. Rasp: Abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from ones knuckles. Lunging: Popular training method in which a horse exercises their owner by spinning them in circles until dizzy. Gallop: Customary gait a horse chooses when returning back to the barn. Nicely Started: Lunges, but not enough health insurance to even think about riding him. Colic: Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse fair food stands. Colt: What your mare gives you when you want a filly. Easy to Load: Only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50lb bag of oats, and a tractor with loader. Easy to Catch: In a 10x10 stall. Easy Rider: Rides good in a trailer; not to be confused with "ride-able". Endurance Ride: End result when your horse spooks and runs away with you. Hives: What you get when receive the vet bill for your 6 horses, 3 dogs, 4 cats, and 1 donkey. Hobbles: Walking gait of a horse owner after their foot has been stepped on by their horse. Feed: Expensive substance used to manufacture manure. Dog House: What you are in when you spend too much money on grooming supplies and pretty halters. Light Cribber: We can't afford to build anymore fencing or box stalls for this buzz saw on four legs. Three Gaited Horse: A horse that. 1) trips, 2) stumbles, 3) falls. THE 12 "MOST IMPORTANT" THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU OWN A HORSE.... To induce labor in a mare? Take a nap. To cure equine constipation? Load them in a clean trailer. To cure equine insomnia? Take them in a halter class. To get a horse to stay very calm and laid back? Enter them in a liberty class. To get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water. To get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show. To get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall. To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted? Sell her before she foals. To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch? Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him. To induce a cold snap in the weather? Clip a horse. To make it rain? Mow a field of hay. To make a small fortune in the horse business? Start with a large one.