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Discussion in 'The Chatter Box' started by HoosierShadow, Mar 12, 2020.
Well, I have been married almost 50 years and was never able to *keep the peace* with my mother in law. So no advice just well wishes. These times are especially hard.
If I were your mom, I would let her clean until her heart's content! It would keep her out of her hair, and she is staying busy. Plus mom gets a really clean house!
Wow... so this statement I made a couple of months ago really came back in a very serious and concrete way this afternoon. I'm currently vacationing with my in-laws in South Dakota (a vacation we planned about 9 months ago). We were coming down from Mount Rushmore and I nailed a motorcyclist head-on. I was in my lane, eyes on the road, both hands on the wheel, and only going about 35 mph around a curve. He came the other way and he wasn't speeding but it was like he didn't even see the curve. He came over the stripe and drove straight into the grill of my pickup truck. I still can't believe it happened. The motorcyclist didn't make it. I was able to hold his hand and pray for him and speak to him a little. He came to for a while and was conscious when the EMT's arrived but then he died in the ambulance before they could drive away. It was a sad day and I feel so sorry for his family. They were all there with him when it happened. They agreed it was not my fault. One of his family members was riding a few yards behind him and saw the whole thing. Crazy day... not even sure what to think of all this right now.
OMG. I'm so sorry. How horrible. Praying for you and his family.
Wow.. I am so sorry.
Wow I am so sorry that happened. Praying for you
Wow, I am sorry... The same thing happened to my cousin, but with a semi-truck. Motorcycles are dangerous.
I am so sorry.
Whew! That would be a tough one. I'm sorry for all of you.
Yeah, pretty rough deal. I can't feel sorry for myself because I feel sorry for the motorcyclist's family and what they're going through. My husband and I are unscathed. My truck isn't in great shape and we're working through the logistics of getting back to Colorado. I have a feeling we'll be renting a car to get home for now, but I'll know more when I talk to the guy at the body shop tomorrow. At least I'm only having to deal with how to get a dead truck home and not a dead body.
On the plus side, other than the very low point yesterday, the rest of our trip has been wonderful. It's been great to hang out with my in-laws, and South Dakota is beautiful. I've never been here before and I definitely want to come back--next time with my packgoats.
I don't mean to sound cold and callous, but, his insurance should cover your truck and the rental car. And, I don't mean to sound so cold and practical, but, I'm sure you are like the rest of everyone and don't have piles of money sitting all over. I would guess the police report has all the insurance info.
That sure was a terrible day for everyone ! (Especially the guys family).
It's not cold or callous to be practical. Yes, his insurance should cover everything. I spent all yesterday morning on the phone, at the body shop, at the car rental company, etc. I had to call my insurance company to get the ball rolling on a claim number so I could rent a car at the reduced rate and have something started in case the motorcyclist wasn't insured or was under-insured. Meanwhile it took some time to get ahold of the right officer at the right police department since three different agencies took statements and I had no idea which one had the official and complete report. I finally got the insurance info on the motorcyclist sometime yesterday afternoon and I'll be doing more logistical stuff later this morning after my in-laws fly out. My husband and I will be at least one extra day in S.D. to tie up loose ends, but that's ok. Like I said, at least we're not having to deal with the death of a family member or even injury to ourselves. Staying an extra day or two on vacation is not a hardship.
Im worried about you emotionally. Your speaking very factually without emotion. I would suggest some counciling. Im sure you are in shock and disconnected from reality..but it will come back. Please take care of your emotions. I cant imagine that horrific situation. Take care.
People handle things different ways. Some people don't let their emotions show, but are fine. Damfino seems like a pretty tough person. She should be from Texas! I hope that all involved are eventually able to be at peace with what happened. I can't even imagine dealing with this.
Even the toughest people can really internalize things. They are the ones you have to worry about the most! Moers is very right. Counseling is so important, even if it was just for a little bit. Its human to not be okay after something like this. Its a big deal. I cant imagine what you are going through, I know it may take a little while. Its okay to not be okay.
Keep in mind this is still on the internet and anyone can see it. I know I'm more private and would just be matter of fact online. Some people don't want to talk about everything on the internet but handling it in person.Damfino is a strong and common sense person who comes across to me as someone who would take care of herself. She probably just isn't interested in airing everything online.
Well, to be quite honest I'm not terribly emotional about this. It's sad that a man died but I don't feel responsible. He drove straight into me. If I hadn't been there I think he might still have died from driving right off the road. Had I been even the slightest bit at fault it would be different, but my conscience is clear that I was doing everything right when it happened and I had neither the time nor ability to take evasive action in that spot. There was no shoulder--just a steep bank on the outside of the curve so I couldn't swerve to avoid him even if I'd had time. I feel sad for his family but I'm not traumatized like I would be if I'd been distracted or speeding or drifting into his lane. His family even wonders if he suffered some kind of stroke or seizure just before the accident. I'm grateful that the man lived long enough that I was able to hold his hand, pray, speak his name, and hopefully say a few words of comfort. That was a blessing to me and for whatever reason the experience put me at peace with the situation. I hope my presence there was in some way a blessing to the man who died and to his family as well.
Funny enough, I was born in Texas, but since my family moved to Colorado when I was five I consider myself a Coloradan with Texan roots.
I also hope the motorcyclist's family is at peace with what happened. They seem like nice folks and I would like to meet them again one day under better circumstances. I hope they feel the same way about me.
Yes..I wasnt attemping to be negative or say you did anything wrong. I work around people who go through different and the same situation that have it under control...until one day it surfaces. Doesnt matter how tough you are (ex. Military, police, firefighters, drs. Etc) deal with death or actions of death do feel trauma. Just suggesting be aware of things...in case it comes up. Not everyone.is against you nor doubts you. Just an offering of insight from experince. Hope all is well with you. Ill pray for you.
One of the police officers at the scene said something similar and it might definitely happen to me too so I'm prepared for the possibility, but in the meantime since I don't feel traumatized I'm not going to try to work up a bunch of emotion that isn't there. On the Spock-Kirk emotional spectrum I'm definitely well over on the Spock end. Not everyone understands this in a culture where extreme emotional responses to almost everything are expected and even encouraged, but being even-keeled in a crisis runs in my family. It doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic toward the man who died or those who loved him. It was a very sad and unexpected loss for them and they are the ones experiencing emotional trauma right now. I haven't spoken to a counselor, but I called my mom after the accident and it was good. I'd love it if I could still talk to my dad because he and I are very similar, but his cancer is so far progressed that he's not the same person he used to be and he hasn't got the energy to talk much anymore. Plus, he just had some kind of dental surgery last week and is still recovering from that.