Sorry that this is so long and sounds like a pity party but I just needed to get this out. I have not been on here very much in the past several months except to ask for help. For that I appologize. Things just have not been going well here. Some of you may remeber that my younger son was supposed to be going into the National Guard. Well...these people he was hanging out with got him convinced that he would go to Iraq and die so he chickened out. Then he moved in with these people and....his life is going down the tubes. They seem to have gotten him into drugs and drinking heavily. He's also been in trouble with the law a few times now. 2 weeks ago he pushed his way into the house and got into it with me because I wouldn't take him where he wanted to go. The only reason he would want to go to this place was to get drugs. It was like he was a different person. The son I know would never lay a hand on me. Well when it was all over I ended up going to the ER. Luckly nothing was broken but my shoulder is still not right. I was pretty bruised up on my one side. so at the hospital they called the police and now they are charging him with assult and he is in jail. In the mean time I had to get a PFA against him. I cried thru the entire hearing. I don't want my son to think I don't want him. But I have to protect myself too. When he is on something it is like he is an animal. I was really scared. On top of all of this I got a different pos. at work and my hrs our really screwy. We are milking 2 times a day and feeding the little ones. My Aunt (who has been battling brain cancer) has passed away. As a result my Grandmother ended up in the hospital. My Mom isn't taking it very well. I'm not getting much sleep at all. I am still laying there awake at 1 or 2am and we get up at 4am to start all over again. I feel like my life is imploding!!