[Jessica84]

Not taking sides at all. But my now husband also moved in with my family before we got married. His family was messed up and rented out his bed room when he was 17. Any ways me and my mom also fought more than usual. Now that I'm older and wiser it is very hard to have a new person enter the house. They say the best way to loose a friend is to rent a place together. I also agree with menapause I think my mom was going threw it and my bad hormonal PMS didn't help either. But bottom line is it is hard to adjust to someone entering your home and family....I'm realizing that with my brothers.girlfriend. if you don't want to leave.the place I totally get that I never want to leave this place that is my....well actually my dads and uncles.....but that's the case that you don't want to leave I would try the trailer idea. See if.actually not being under the same roof will help. It will give you a idea of what it would be like to build on the place before you put all that money into it.
Another thing.....money might play a roll in her attitude as well. I know it doesn't seem like food and such is that much but does add up when there is a extra mouth to feed. If you want to stay in the house maybe offer to help with paying bills.
I know it seems I'm picking her side.....not at all just trying to figure out why the sudden change. I would still really consider the trailer idea and to also save money so if it doesn't work out your prepared to rent a place.

 

[Jessica84]

First I would like to tell you I am extremely sorry about whats going on with your family, and what has in the past.

My husband and I live with my parents, so I know first hand it isn't easy! Living with parents can cause so many problems in a marriage and with the relationship you have with your parents. We are coming on two years in the spring since my husband moved in with us. It hasn't been easy by any means. It is really hard to be married and grow up while living with parents. You don't get to make your own choices the way you can on your own. When you an a parent get into it, your husband wants to defend you and that can make things worse. When you and your husband are into it, your parents try to defend you and that makes it hard to have a healthy relationship with your partner. I always seem to be in the middle of my parents and my husband arguments. My parents adore my husband, but it's hard not to find fault in your daughters husband when you are around them all the time. Most parents deep down think that no one is good enough for their daughter. It's really hard to explain. But putting to married couples in a house together would be hard enough, then you add in that one couple is the parents of a spouse in the other, just makes things 10x harder. Your parents are still going to want to parent you. Being a daughter (child) and a wife at the same time.. not the easiest thing in the world, but that's what it seems to turn to when living together.
I am sorry if that made no sense I am just trying to explain some of the problems I have faced living with my parents. We are in the process of buying land and putting a trailer on it, we will be with in a mile of my parents house but not under their noses anymore, we are both extremely excited to re-start our lives together.
By no means am I saying it can't be done, we have made it work coming on two years now, but it is hard, on all the relationships in the house. I would sit down and talk to your mom- when she is in a good mood. I would also have a talk with your fiancé. If you could find some property for sale near by it would make growing up and being married easier. Or even if you can buy a parcel of land off of your parents.
I hope I helped you some instead of making things worse, and that you an your entire family can have wonderful relationships in the future.

100% right!!! I do as well still live at my parents. Yes its very hard at times but also helps with the set up. I and my family basically have our half of the house and them on the other. Its a large house so works. Works even better that 75% of the time they are not even here
Like I said before I would fight with my mom. I then talked about moving out while I was pregnant and very sick and my husband is gone 4 24 hours a week. I think it did wake her up that yes I needed help but also they needed me as well. We have a working family ranch and all my other siblings left and don't help except for me and my brother. Things got way better after that. We still have our spats but I have my area to go away.
As for the mental health. It now seems that I'm not the only one so will share. When you have a chemical imbalance you really don't even know it. I had post pardon depressing (I really hate admitting that) but at the time I didn't even know it. K didn't want to kill my son it was more of a yep this is my baby not awww look at my wonderful baby!! Last year I don't even know what you would call it but I got really unhappy and not nice to be around. I was not abusive but I would say borderline to verbal abuse. Excepting that something is off is the first step. I'm not talking bad about your mom at all I would never do that even if you told me you hated her but she might have something going on and does need to talk to a doctor it may not be as bad as before but doesn't mean she needs what I called mine...a happy pill .
This is kinda a decision that your going to have to think about while your calm and not stressed out. You are getting ready to make YOUR family so you need to do what's best for it. None of us know 100% what's going only you do. I hope everything turns out well for you in the end