Political science for Aggies Democrat - You have two cows. your neighbor has no cows. you feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. Republican - you have two cows. your neighbors have no cows. So? Socialist - You have two cows. the government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. you form a co-op to tell him how to manage his cow. Communist - you have two cows. the government seizes both and provides you with milk. you wait in line for hours to get it. its expensive and sour. Capitalism, American style - you have two cows. you sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. Bureaucracy, american style - You have two cows. under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain. American corporation - you have two cows. you sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. you force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. you are surprised when one of the cows drops dead. you spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. your stock goes up. French corporation - you have two cows. you go on strike because you want three cows. you go to lunch and drink wine. life is good. japanese corporation - you have two cows. you redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. they learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. they are at the top of their class at cow school. German corporation - you have two cow. you engineer them so they are blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run 100 miles an hour. unfortunatly they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. italian corporation - you have two cows but you don't know where they are. while ambling about, you see beautiful women. you break for lunch. life is good. Russian corporation - you have two cows. you have some vodka. you count them again and realize you have 5 cows. you have some more vodka. you count them again and realize you have 42 cows. the mafia shows up and takes however many cows you really had. Taliban corporation - you have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. you don't milk them because you can't touch any animal's private parts. you get a 40 million dollar grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. Terrorist corporation - you have some cows. they go into hiding. they send radio tapes of their mooing. Belgian corporation - you have one cow. they cow is schizophrenic. sometimes the cow thinks it's french, otehr times it's flemish. the french cow wants control of the flemish cows milk. the cow ask permission to be cut in half. the cow dies happy. Florida corporation - you have a black cow and a brown cow. everyone votes for the best looking cow. some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. some people vote for both. some vote for neither. some people cant figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out of state tell you which cow you think is the best looking cow. California corporation - you have millions of cows. they make real california cheese. only five speak english. political corporation - you have two bulls. officials are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.