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@Lindsay1983 you are doing so very well. Benny looks amazing and happy. Keep it up. You will see. He will starr talking to you and jumping all over everything. Dont forget he needs to get to know outside too. With its smells and textures and noises. But you are wonderful. How is daddy goat doing? He isnt feeling lonely?
 

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Discussion Starter · #505 ·
I had to make the hard decision to sell Bucky. But he’s only a country block away! I can go visit him whenever I want. Like, walk there it’s so close. I feel good about it because he now has two new girlfriends to live with and a wether. He’ll be so happy. And make lots more little cuties like Benny. I’m still not sure if I’ll keep Benny after he’s weaned. This took a lot out of me emotionally and I don’t know if I can continue on if this is how it goes. I don’t mean to sound whiny about it but that was very hard for me. We’ll see how things go.
 

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Kalopa Mauka
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I had to make the hard decision to sell Bucky. But he's only a country block away! I can go visit him whenever I want. Like, walk there it's so close. I feel good about it because he now has two new girlfriends to live with and a wether. He'll be so happy. And make lots more little cuties like Benny. I'm still not sure if I'll keep Benny after he's weaned. This took a lot out of me emotionally and I don't know if I can continue on if this is how it goes. I don't mean to sound whiny about it but that was very hard for me. We'll see how things go.
Take a little time, and donʻt give up. I know it is really hard to put so much in and feel so devastated with the outcome. Benny needs a companion, maybe you will find him an orphan friend. I think they do better with a friend. And since you are putting energy into one you might as well have two (says the lady who is bottle feeding 4 and meant to let the moms raise them).
 

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Discussion Starter · #508 ·
We have my dog Petie who is being a great companion for now. I have to think about if I really want to keep him and get another or sell him. I’m really not sure right now. My brain is still kinda tired and I’m running in survival mode. I haven’t had much sleep since Tuesday and it’s taking it’s toll. I’m sure I’ll feel more level headed once I’m well rested.
 

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Kalopa Mauka
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We have my dog Petie who is being a great companion for now. I have to think about if I really want to keep him and get another or sell him. I'm really not sure right now. My brain is still kinda tired and I'm running in survival mode. I haven't had much sleep since Tuesday and it's taking it's toll. I'm sure I'll feel more level headed once I'm well rested.
One night you will sleep through, the baby might miss a meal but will be OK as long as he is warm. I know it is hard, I thought I was OK when I lost that doe, but realized I was shaky for a couple of days (I have 12 mature goats and 12 kids, so I should accept the loss more like a herd manager than a goat lover, right?).
You had so much time and energy invested in just one lovely creature, you are entitled to feel grief, it is real. Remember the sweet baby and the fun you had with Beulah.
 

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Discussion Starter · #510 ·
It’s definitely hard. I find myself crying randomly and I can’t be on this site a lot because it just breaks my heart. All of you have been so kind and it’s hard to read all of the condolences. Makes me very emotional. But please know, ALL OF YOU that I appreciate you so very much. I hope I can grieve my loss and find my inner strength to get on with things. ❤
 

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Discussion Starter · #511 ·
And there’s no way I could sleep through Benny screaming for his bottle! Lol he’s so loud when he’s hungry! Plus I’m on the couch in the living room with him with puppy pee pads covering everything because this little guy pees A LOT!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #513 ·
I weighed Benny this morning and he already weighs just over 4 pounds!! He’s gained almost 3 pounds in 3 days! Yay! He’s doing so well. Little pee factory lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #515 ·
Oh yes absolutely. He’s not pooping enough I don’t think. He hasn’t pooped since yesterday morning and it was already little orange pellets. Not hard, not soft, but like little grape clusters. If he doesn’t go after his feeding at 11, I’ll give him an enema.
 

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Discussion Starter · #517 ·
Spoke too soon. I fed him and he pooped a little while later. It was hard and he strained to do it. Orange colored grape clusters again. Should I be giving him more milk? He was getting 3 ounces every 4-5 hrs but that wasn’t enough. I could tell by the way his belly felt. So now I’m giving him 4 ounces and he seems more full and content. But I’m slightly concerned with the straining hard poop.
 

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Oh, he’s soooo cute!

I’m so sorry about your Beulah, Lindsay - I’ve had a horse emergency I’ve been dealing with the last couple of days and I just got on today to catch up on the thread. That’s so hard. My very first kidding we had a huge single buckling that got stuck backwards coming out. I was new to goats. I hadn’t joined the forum here yet, and I didn’t know what to do. Eventually I managed to get him turned around, and I pulled him out. I saved my doe but we lost our very first kid. It was really hard - I imagine it’s even harder for you, as you lost a goat you already knew and loved. We only lost a baby we’d never met.

I hope you can take some comfort in the little kid’s company, and in knowing you really tried very, very hard to help Beulah through this. Your efforts would put a lot of people to shame, and she certainly didn’t suffer from any lack of help on your part.

Sometimes we do our very best but it’s just beyond us. I really hope you can find peace with that, and move forward and continue being the amazing person you obviously are, whether you decide to try again with goats or not.
 
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