Oh, he’s soooo cute!
I’m so sorry about your Beulah, Lindsay - I’ve had a horse emergency I’ve been dealing with the last couple of days and I just got on today to catch up on the thread. That’s so hard. My very first kidding we had a huge single buckling that got stuck backwards coming out. I was new to goats. I hadn’t joined the forum here yet, and I didn’t know what to do. Eventually I managed to get him turned around, and I pulled him out. I saved my doe but we lost our very first kid. It was really hard - I imagine it’s even harder for you, as you lost a goat you already knew and loved. We only lost a baby we’d never met.
I hope you can take some comfort in the little kid’s company, and in knowing you really tried very, very hard to help Beulah through this. Your efforts would put a lot of people to shame, and she certainly didn’t suffer from any lack of help on your part.
Sometimes we do our very best but it’s just beyond us. I really hope you can find peace with that, and move forward and continue being the amazing person you obviously are, whether you decide to try again with goats or not.