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Today my only goat, Nanny died. We got Nanny as a tying goat 3 or 4 years ago and since the she's been our 3rd dog. My relationship with Nanny is hard to describe, but she was my goat. I loved her more than you think someone could love a goat. I fed her very morning, I lead her around. I petted her, and took care of her when she got sick. Maybe that's why her death affect me so much, because I feel responsible.

About a month ago Nanny started breathing a little heavier, but it was a good 100 degrees put so we though she was hot. The I realized that she panted even when it was 50 degrees out. I though she would get better so we waited. Finally I asked my dad to give her something, and we called our vet, said it was pnumonia(which is was we thought too)and gave her something that started with an F. (Can't remember the name) About a 1 1/2 to 2 weeks later she still essential better. She was worse. Much, much worse. She'd gotten skinny, wasn't drinking, could barley walk, and wouldn't even eat her grain. She made noises of pain and was breathing so hard. We called our vet and began giving that same medication and banamine every other day(this was on Friday) Then today, Tuesday she died.

Nanny was so much better from Friday and was eating her grain, but then last night when I fed her she didn't. I didn't think much of it but cleaned the snot off her nose and went back in. Today after volleyball I got a text from my grandma saying sorry about nanny. I didn't know anything had happened. I had to stand there for 15 minutes in the corer of our gym with my friends crying.

The reason I feel so guilty is because I wasn't walkways so kind to her.
Sometimes if rope her. Make her pull stuff, sit on her, and drag her around with a leash to move her. I feel so bad because she ment more than that to me I just don't know if she knew it.

Rest in peace Nanny 2009-2013 <3
Forever in my heart
 

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I'm so sorry you are hurting. I'm sure she knew you loved her. There is nothing you can do about possible past mistakes except learn from them and let the future be better. Focus on all the good things you did for her and allow yourself some grace. Hugs.
 

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So sorry for your loss. I had a favorite mare when I was a teen. She and I were a recipe for disaster. She had been turned out on pasture for at least eight years with no handling. And she had a an attitude. The older couple that owned her thought that she was only a couple years old when they got her, and he was going to train her. He began having health issues and never got around to it. Anyway, they had to move because of their health problems, and offered her to my parents since they knew I was a horse crazy girl. Well, I get her, and she is wild and living up to her name (Sassy). Turns out she was not a quarter horse like they thought, but likely an Arab mix, and probably 8-10 years old when they got her. I spent a year and a half working on her before I got on her back. She clipped me with her hoof on my hip, she pulled hair off my head, and was just a big pain for the longest time. One day I got fed up and threw a five gallon bucket at her when she was acting off, and hit her with it. My mom still reminds me about that day. I was all emotional about having thrown that bucket at her. That day was a turning point for us. She finally started to respect me a tiny bit. There are still things I regret doing out of frustration when she acted up.

Yet guess who I trusted to ride well into my first pregnancy four years later? Guess who was virtually bombproof (she was a startle in place kind of girl, and a small startle at that)? Guess who I lent to my MIL to ride at a civil war reenactment? Who wandered off from my MIL, who was encamped with the Confederates, and was brought back to her by someone encamped with the Union soldiers? Who startled in place when a cannon went off, and quickly revealed that my MIL had forgotten to tighten the saddle (and it rolled), yet only turned her head to look at the crazy person on the ground?

Do learn from the things you did wrong, but cherish the stuff you did right. You obviously love Nanny. Btw, one of my Nubian doelings is almost always trying to stand between my legs, and if I sit down ever so slightly, she is still content to stay there. They really like close physical contact with their humans. Constantly plastered to my legs, standing between my legs, or chasing after us if we are not close enough. And the doe, well, I am always lugging her somewhere she doesn't want to go (she loves eating tumbleweeds, even on the way to the milking stand, and I seem to end up dragging her off wherever I need her to go when she is the mood to eat tumbleweed).
 

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Im sorry your loss....
 
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