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I'm crying as I'm writing this, but I wanna put it somewhere and most of my friends wouldn't understand.

My sweet little Willy died sometime last night when the hay feeder got knocked over on him. I'm out of town right now and have my sister taking care of the animals in the morning and my friends coming over at night to feed them. If I was home this never would have happened. They told me Sunday night that the feeder had gotten knocked over, but I didn't really think anything of it, it's happened maybe once before. Well, what they didn't tell me was that the goats kept knocking it over and that every morning my sister has had to stand it up again. I would have told them to lay it on its side or take it out, buuut no, it ended up taking my sweet Willy and it's all my fault. I never should have left, we have too many animals for people that don't care about them to take care of. My older siblings were staying home, and I thought about staying home too, because of the animals, but since our 4H steers and pigs are gone, we don't have as many left and I thought it would fine.

Willy was the sweetest little goat ever and I'll never have another one like him. Everyone that came over loved him. He was basically a dog. I could never keep him in the pen but it was fine since he'd wander the yard, come up by the house, and just follow me around everywhere. Every morning and every night as I was feeding animals, Willy would be right behind me. Willy almost died soon after I got him, he got coccidia really bad, but I got him better and I think that's part of why he was so sweet and friendly. He could tell if I was having a bad day and would come rub up against my leg and then just sit on my lap.

There will never be another goat like Willy, and that's why this is so hard. I know it sounds bad, but I honestly wish that out of my 7 goats, it had fallen on one of the others. Why'd it have to be my Willy. Willy dying is different from my other goats that have died, because they died of things I couldbt have done anything about. Willy's death was completely my fault and if I had been at home this never would have happened.

Rest in peace sweet Willy 馃 I'll never forget you 馃

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Oh I鈥檓 so so sorry. He sounded like a really special goat. Don鈥檛 blame it on yourself. Accidents happen and no one meant for any of the goats to get hurt. I wish I could give you a big hug, but I鈥檒l settle for sending you lots of virtual ones. Rest In Peace sweet Willy.
 

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Awe.so sorry 馃槥
 
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I am so sorry!

Failure for others to do as we would do is such a frustrating thing. It is hard to do all the farm things knowing another person can't help if you can't be there. When I had covid earlier this year, I was out for a few days. My mom insisted she did everything just as I told her. When I was able to walk outside, hay feeders were empty, a few goats had empty water buckets, three pens had water buckets that had a lot of poop in them. Chickens also had very poopy water. I was so devestated to learn basic care was not provided. It is such a feeling of betrayal. Thankfully, all my babies seemed okay. I was so mad. If I knew, I would have rallied myself up to do chores. There were a bunch of excuses made. It is so hard when you realize you can trust no one with your animals...I just had all this guilt, but I wasn't the person who SHOULD have been feeling that guilt. Part of it is a lack of foresight by other people, like they do not have the imagination to see what could go wrong and fix it. They just assume things will be fine. They don't have the education about all the ways goats get sick or die by watching it happen to other people online. There is nothing that can be done now. I am sorry about that! If I had a time machine, I'd share it.
 

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I am so sorry. I know what it is like to lose one that has stolen your heart like that. They seem more like people.
I am so relieved that my son, who is also a goat person, is there for our animals. But I still worry and know that things can go wrong. Bad things happen no matter how hard we try.
Again, I totally understand your pain and am so sorry you have to go through this.
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