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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well our pony has completly lanes up and is barely walking in her pen. We have tried easy boots, had multiple ferriers out to look at her feet and put her on grass hay. There isn't much we can keep doing and she isn't enjoying her life and we can't put her to pasture as the feed would only make her worse. I got a call and our local collage is going to take her and learn from her. My heart is totally breaking, she was my kiddos first pony and they learned to ride on her. To top it off the day I have to take her my husband is out of town the whole week.
We haven't told the kids yet but we will the weekend before she goes. If my 6 year old wants to go and drop her off (we won't see her put down of coarse) would you let him go? He would miss school but I want to respect his emotions on this and she has been a special part of our family. :'(
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Sorry the title said glad, the part I am greatful for is that many students will get to learn from our loss, rather than having to take her to the tolomaker.
 

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If your 6 year old wants to go - let him!!!. I feel an important part of responsible animal ownership is knowing when to let go. When the time is right - show him pictures of skeletons of horses - show him all that the students can learn from your little pony.
 

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I would totally say yes. I feel that if he is thinking it through in his mind and is willing to go that would help him deal with the loss. Face it head on "like a man".........helps him learn good coping skills. I have always let my children make some decisions on their own even when they were really young because it helps them develop their own autonomy as well. I think it's great. :)
 

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Yes, I would let him go. I don't think 6 year olds need to know all the details of a life ending, but I do believe they need to know that that there are things going on here that are destroying your horses quality of life and that it isn't an acceptable situation. I've never been a big fan of animals simply "disappearing" while the kids were gone. I think it insults their intelligence and it disrespects their need/wish to say goodbye. Just my .02, though. :)
 

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Yes, I would let him go. I don't think 6 year olds need to know all the details of a life ending, but I do believe they need to know that that there are things going on here that are destroying your horses quality of life and that it isn't an acceptable situation. I've never been a big fan of animals simply "disappearing" while the kids were gone. I think it insults their intelligence and it disrespects their need/wish to say goodbye. Just my .02, though. :)
I completely agree!!! Very well said!:) I think children need closure as well.
 

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Yep, I would let him go but only if he asks. Just call ahead to make sure they plan to put her in a nice pen or stall until you leave. Kids can be so resilient if we allow them to. If you can, try to be matter of fact about what the next step is while letting the kids know that it is normal and acceptable for them to be sad about their loss for a while. My daughter was six on the day that her grandpa died while we were in the house. It was not completely unexpected so she had some idea already about death. She asked to see his body before it was taken away. I was unsure but I allowed it. I figure kids process things differently and if she needed a visual then I was going to let her see. She says now that it helped her. My son didn't want to see and that was OK too. Just listen and let him tell you what he wants. A day missed from school is nothing compared to a life experience that will help him grow as a person and as a responsible pet owner.
 

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I would have said no way before we started Goats..my children have been part of many losses...they have grown aware and compassionate toward each others feelings..Death is apart of owning ranch animals..and its healthy for the kiddos to understand and except...learn to move on and past the pain.....I too am sorry for your loss..and in awe you are allowing him to teach others...blessings
 

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I agree with GoatCrazy! I'm just a youngster, but when I was very little (like 4 and up) I understood death and life, and it distressed me when people tried to shield me from it. I always wanted to be there until the very end for them. I was a strange child but that's how I was.
 

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I agree that life lessons are important and we have included our children in the heartbreak of loss and the lessons of life and death, however I don't know if missing a day of school is appropriate. We have always made it a BIG deal to our kids about missing school. We want to send the message that school is their job, important and should only be missed when they are sick or an extreme circumstance such as a funeral etc. He could say goodbye the night before or the morning of before school. I think that sometimes we send the wrong message by letting our kids miss school too often. Just my 2 cents.....
 

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It is sad, but I also look at the glad as glad she will be out of pain.

I agree let your son say goodbye where she will be.
 

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I am sorry. :( It is always sad to say good-bye, but it makes it easier when you know they've had a happy life.
I'm not a parent, but I have distinct memories of when I was a child, and I also know a lot of children. Children can be very sensitive and impressionable, and experiences like that can greatly influence their lives. I remember many experiences from my life, both negative and positive, and they have had a strong effect on who I am now.
In a situation like that, it's extremely important to be sensitive to their feelings and allow them to work through it. It's just as important to be honest, of course.
I say, if he wants to go, let him, and be very upfront about everything (but of course don't go into more detail than a six-year-old can handle!)
It's up to you whether you think it's important enough to miss school for.
Just my :2cents:.
 

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Definitely let him go! It is a large part of learning about life, it makes for a more compassionate person/child, as well as closure so they are never left wondering.

I am just 28 and my 5 year old son was in a terrible accident Nov. 3rd 2012 that left us in the hospital away from home till Jan. 1st of this year. During that time my life long horse born on our place April 13 1980 (would have been 33 this year/last horse born to my Great Grandparents farm) succumbed to an aggressive cancer (in less than 4 days of diagnosis with no other symptoms) and lost control of his back end on Christmas Eve.

Most horrible thing in the world not to be able to say good bye, knowing his age I had been prepared for years for that day and regretted that I couldn't be there to hold his head and say good bye as the vet put him down. He is buried within 50 ft of the spot he was born...not a lot of horses can claim that honor.

My kids don't understand why when we got home he was gone..it was during the Sandy Hooker School tragedy and I told them the kids in heaven needed a good horse to keep them company.

My kids still ask me if we can go up and visit him...still brings tears to my eyes.
 

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My children are 5 and 3. My oldest has been through the deaths of two of our dogs. One we had to put down at 16. The other, at 4, due to cancer. We let him say good-bye to them both times. He did not go with us to the vet, but he did know what was happening, in as much as a 5 year old can. We still talk about them both often. He knows they are watching over us, right along side my dad, who died when my son was 18 months old.

I think keeping the lines of communication open about it are so necessary. These animals are just as beloved to our children as they are to us. And, yes, I absolutely think it is worth missing a day of school for, if he requests to accompany you when you bring her to the college.

I'm sorry for your loss.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thank you all for your kind words. Missing school isn't a huge deal to me, he is in 1st grade so making up work isn't to hard. My husband is normally the strong one on stuff like this as I get more emotional. But he will be gone so I am grateful for all of you confirming my feelings of letting my son go.
I keep getting teary eyed every time I go out back and see her. They can't take her until labs on June 5th so now we are just maintaining pain and trying make her comfortable. The slogan for the school is learn by doing and I believe in this whole heartedly!
Please pray I can stay strong for my kiddos while we face this loss in a few weeks.
The only death my kids have experience was my father in law and he died suddenly 48 hours after he left our home from a visit so I pray this teaches them a new way of grieving and saying good bye.
 

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So sorry for your loss :( if it makes you feel better I had a class that we got too look at horses after and I learned a lot from it and I saved my sisters horse from the thinks I learned in that class. Your making the right choice. And as for your kids if it were me I would want to go and say goodbye it's just nicer. Also I suggest going out to get ice-cream or something afterwords food always makes people feel better when upset!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So sorry for your loss :( if it makes you feel better I had a class that we got too look at horses after and I learned a lot from it and I saved my sisters horse from the thinks I learned in that class. Your making the right choice. And as for your kids if it were me I would want to go and say goodbye it's just nicer. Also I suggest going out to get ice-cream or something afterwords food always makes people feel better when upset!
Thank you, knowing that hands on learning does help makes this a little easier. It hurts worse cause I know how much they love her and how deeply they will miss her. But I can honestly say we have tried everything possible to help her. My husband is very frugile and he has even been willing to spend some $$$ trying to help her.
 

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I'm sorry you're loosing your pony. Its always sad to see them go but at least she is going to be no longer suffering and also even proving useful after death. It is very strong of you to do this. I would deffinatly let your six year old go. I was five when we put down the family dog. I was there when they did the injection and I stroked her as she passed. I was six when I watched the slaughter of my first pig. I understood death is inevitable from theses experiences and that it is nothing to be afraid of or sickened by. Its simply a part of life and a give and take of energy from one thing to another. Even plants die. If he doesn't want to go that's OK too but if he wants to go more power to him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
He over heard me talking and he started crying, this mommies heart broke. He sat in my arms and cried and we talked, he said he wants to go so she knows someone and feels safe. He melts my heart. He understands the why's now, but he is still sad.
 

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Sooo sorry for your loss. As a mom, I understand how hard it is to watch your children suffer. You are a good mom and your concern shows it. Just give lots of hugs and cuddles and he will be ok.
 
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