My grandfather is dying... I just visited him. He was asleep when I went into his room, and I just sat next to him by myself for a while. Then my mom came in and I just started crying. He has cancer and had brain surgery a few months back and then chemo and radiation. He was doing good until a few weeks ago. Now he can't get out of bed and looks so sad. I hadn't seen him since about two weeks ago when he was sitting in the backyard shucking corn. I helped him and we talked about my goats. I am so sad right now. I can't stop crying and it was a shock to see him asleep in bed like he was. He didn't wake up while he was there but it was like saying goodbye, just being there. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I left. There are lots of people at the house. Family and friends. He is old and has been independent and active for his whole life. He had a great life and isn't suffering, which we are all greatful for. He has done so much in his life and is now surrounded by people that love him... but it doesn't make it any less hard to say goodbye. I just had to get it off my chest. It's really tough when someone you have loved all your life who has lived next door and taught you so much isn't well anymore. It is just his time.... But still... anyway, just writing that out has made me feel a little more composed. I'm going to go back tomorrow I hope. I want to see him awake to tell him I love him.