I came up with this this morning while milking. This seems to be my doe's code of conduct. Yours may have similar or totally different rules. You are welcome to add! 1. Go crazy at the gate, always give the impression of urgency, milking must happen NOW! 2. The general idea is, you want as much time with the special food as possible. 3. Dive into the bowl so farmer knows you never get enough. 4. Let out moans of pleasure (at the food), but farmer might think you are in pain. This will lead to concerned and careful examination of udder, which adds eating time. 5. Make sure you let them know which foods are appropriate for this time. Don’t accept mundane food that you can have anytime. Milk the system. 6. Stomp when you don’t like what they do. 7. If there is an actual milking bucket under you, give it a good kick. Or step into it. 8. The appropriate response to “Good girl!” is to stomp. 9. New staff must earn their right to milk. Make sure you are extra vigilant on the rules. 10. When they think it’s done and you are supposed to go back, take side trips and use the chance to explore places. If need be, go back to the milking parlour. 11. Farmers need to work harder to earn your milk. 12. Have a good laugh.