I am sitting here watching Boris and Natasha sleeping together in there crate. Wondering if I am going to make it though this kidding season. All our babies are on bottles for one reason or another. Out of 13 births 8 kids are liven. We have 3 still borns 2 passed away before they where a week old. (Sunshine and Mocha). One is sick but doing better, my little Beautiful Natasha. What is scary I do not even own all but two goats on this farm right now and I cry every time a hole has to be dugged to lay a little one to rest. My hubby has I have to big of a heart to goto into goat breeding. I am a reck eveytime we loose one. I am afraid to go home for a break and have time with my hubby and my animals at home. Afraid if I leave and we loose one that I could have been there to help or maybe save. I found a breed of goat I have fell in love with. They are indanger speciase. THey are called San Clemente Island goats. They are beautiful. Bright red coats with black markings. And I would love to start breeding them here and maybe get a nice herd up. But then I think about all those little ones we put to rest. How do you guys do it?? I keep asking myself if I am cut out to do this?? Or should I stop with Pani and Dude?? Right now I have 8 kids on a bottles. Just a little bit over whelmed at the momment. Two babies in the house that are right next to where I sleep. AKA the couch in the liven room. Ya ya ya I stay at my boss's house. So I can hear them when they wake up to eat and also to keep a close eye on Tashie. Also helping my boss do things for the company when ever I can help out. Finding animals that we need. More goats always more goats. You never can have enough goats around. Llamas, alpacas, mini cows, mini this mini that. But there is a lot of good out of this year and I thinking a lot more good is going to happen also. I got another goat (Dude). Getting to meet someone from here. Going to be show fainters next year with my boss (The first goat that I ever bottle feed is going to be my show goat and her name is Mystery). Going to be shown a mini named Charlie. (love this little guy). Being used as a climbing toy by the older babies. Getting tripped by Climetime and Blossom because they have too be touching me when they are out of there crate. Even little Tashie licking off a tear from my cheek was a special momment and then getting head butted by Boris because I stopped petting him. You know getting this out and actuly thinking about it. I might cry ever time we loose something. I might worry a lot and be a over protective mommy to the little ones. But I think I would make it in breeding goats and raisen them. Cause I was just told by a friend that if you did not have a heart that you could not do the things that I am doing. Got to take the bad with the good. (Even though all I want is the good).