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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Pensioner's reply : re Coles

Didnt like shopping there anyways .
Yesterday I was at my local Cole's store buying a large bag of dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had , a elephant ? So , since Im retired and have little to do , on impulse I told her no , I didnt have a dog , I was starting the Pedigree diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't , because I ended up in the hospital last time , but I lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. ( I have to mention here that everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story. ) Horrified , she asked me if I ended up in the intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no , I stepped off a curb to sniff a Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Im now banned from Coles.
Better what what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say :cool::cool::cool:
 

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~Crazy Goat Lady~
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ROFL!! Oh Laura that's too funny!!! :ROFL: :slapfloor:
 

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Wow that is funny as all hell!!! That's something one of my good friends, Cheri, would do. She is retired and she has NO patience for people. She is just so funny when we are out and about.
 

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lol
 

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hahahaha
 

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Adopted by Goats
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Did the lady ever catch on or does she believe your story?
 

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Boer Lover 4 Life!
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I love it! Someone on facebook put something similar on there. Too funny!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Did the lady ever catch on or does she believe your story?
I cant take credit for this story , it was someone else that this happened to :)
I would have loved to be in his shoes though , lolol
Doubt I could have kept a straight face that long :ROFL:
 

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LOL!!!! I could soooo do that, but I also don't think I could keep a straight face lol

Not in a store... but once my son and I were going to get hay from the farmer down the road - they raise cattle.
All the cows were out laying flat in the field in the sun.
He said they looked dead.

I told him they lay down and cook in the sun, then the farmers go out and cut the hamburgers and steaks out of them when they are done cooking.

Never in a million years did I ever think he would believe me LOL!!!!

He is 12, and will never live that one down...lol
 

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When it comes to agriculture I think we all need to be careful what we say.

My rancher partner was asked by a young teenager, how do roosters fertilize the egg? He said, the chicken lays the egg and then the rooster comes and drills a hole in the egg, he fertilizes it and then produces calcium to seal the hole. He was believed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
My husband has a woman in our dog club that had a duck , not sure of the breed , lay eggs in the back of where she works , a library.
School was still in session , so she being a animal lover , wanted to video the duck sitting on her eggs all the way up to them hatching .
Her idea was to show it to the kids as a short story or whatever.
Well , the superintendent of the place decided that the back of the library wasnt a place for "nature" , so he disposed of the eggs . Probably tossed them in the garbage or into the field behind the property. The mother duck obviously left after not finding her eggs where she left them. He had told the woman that the mother duck had moved them to a "better" spot.
She believed him .....:slapfloor:
She emailed my husband about it and sadly told him that the mother duck moved her eggs so she couldnt video them.
She was going to borrow our video recorder and tripod . My husband thought for a while on how to break it to her that ducks dont "move" their eggs like cats move their kittens. :scratch: I was speechless that this woman actually believed that !!!!!!! I couldnt stop laughing , till today , I swear I cant stop giggling about it. My husband jokingly caught her off guard days after at the training field. He told her to watch out for falling eggs because there is a whole flock of ducks moving their eggs to the upper field. She didnt find it funny at all , but I was rolling hysterical. :ROFL: Seriously , I just couldnt help myself !:slapfloor:
 

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~Crazy Goat Lady~
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ROFL! Those are all too funny!!! :ROFL: :slapfloor: too funny!!!
 
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